Teenagers and the "Silent Dialogue"

"Good girls don't want sex; what they really want is love." For teenage girls, the idea of sexuality has been defined as sexual behavior as opposed to desire or feelings. This is true especially true when a girl does express any form of sexual desire, it is looked upon as deviant behavior. Deviant being negative and unacceptable as well as socially inferior.

I especially gravitated towards the research methods that Tolman used in this study, The Listening Guide. The LIstening guide has been described as a feminist, qualitative, rational, and voice centered method that enabled the researcher to actively listen to the participants. Tolman talks about listening to the participants rather than "categorizing or quantifying the text of the interview." As I am intrigued by this method, I also question some of the validity involved with this method, probably based upon my own ignorance of this method. For instance, Tolman makes a point of describing her own social distance from the subject although they are both white and middle class. The she goes on to say, "as a listener, I can utilize my experience and knowledge as a woman who lives in and experiences adolescence in this society to hear aspects of a particular participant's experiences that might not be audible without it." This alone could lead to bias within the study. I suppose I am trying to negotiate my own feelings about this research method as I understand the claims within the study.

Isabel has an interesting (and disturbing yet unfortunately not that uncommon) history that should have been introduced to the reader earlier on in the paper. The fact that she was subjected to sexual abuse early on in her childhood, 8 years old, probably altered her perception about her own sexuality and others, even though the dominant culture also does a good job of this too. In Tolman's conclusion, she makes and essential connection to this very topic, "she has little lived experience with sexual relationships, perhaps because she avoids them." YES, this makes complete sense. She has been violated in the past and felt "deviant." These feelings lead to avoidance as well as resistance. Many teenager survivors of sexual abuse need specific care to restore their sense of self. I feel that since Isabel has not dealt with this trauma that took place when she was 8, a lot of her ideas on sexuality have developed differently than others her own age. Again, this is just based on what I found and my own bias ;)

The other part of the study that needs to be addressed is the participants used within the study. Tolman chose to interview a 17 year old, White, middle class teenager in one 2 hour interview. I am assuming, based on the text, that there was no prior survey or initial interview. I wonder if the researcher chose the participant or the participant chose the research project. Anyway, Tolman points out that "the fact that she is White and middle class matters, because the ways that we talk about girls' sexuality are largely determined by their race and class." The media along with dominant culture have created this notion that White, middle class girls are "asexual" while lower or under class girls are "sexual." This could be form many reasons, and I have a few ideas but no solid evidence to back up my assumptions (think of Marco's presentation). While reading this study, I kept thinking of the movies Quinceanera and Real Woman Have Curves which both look at teenage Latinas in America as they navigate life and their own sexuality.

Both of these movies are great!

Teens and the "social" networks

Over the last 10 years teaching Middle School, I have seen the technology change that has taken place especially among the teenagers. There was a time, not so long ago, that teachers did not have to worry about cell phones going off in class, students texting under the table, and the awkward facebook friend request from a current or former student.

Miller identifies this move to new forms of communication and uses the term "phatic communication." Phatic communications are basically purely social interaction that do not have any formal basis, no real exchange of information or dialogue. Miller begin by examining blogging. Interestingly, blogging enables the individual to tell personal stories with emotional ties in a very non-personal way (via the internet). This exchange of "emotion" is really a way to create a persona of ones self which envelops the persons self-presentation. I found this very interesting. Through a blog, a person is allowed to create whomever they want and be that person in a safe environment with other like minded individuals, the problem is that these social bonds are not "real", meaning, they are not the true personal bonds that people can get from being with a friend for lunch. Miller refers to this as a micro-level social relationship.
Even less personal is the newer social sites such as facebook or myspace (sorry, friendster). Here the exchanges are not very personal at all. Miller identifies these sites as more visual as opposed to textual. Here, the "friends" are able to engage in a quick exchange of "data" instead of the long and generally more personal
blog. The fact that ta verb has been created to describe the act of making friends with people on these sites is almost bizarre, "friending." I though Miller made a great point about the fact that a person can have thier best friends next to a purely cyber friend yet they were all housed under the same category.
I agree with Miller about the point that these phatic communities are still important or meaningful and that staying in touch is also important. These social networks enable people to "talk" to someone whom they lost touch with or can not easily pick up the phone and call (I have a friend working in Cuba without phone access but she has a computer). Although, I personally feel that this should not be uses as a sole means of communication among family and friends.
Teens and the Social Media points at the fact that 93% of all teenagers use social networking. I can attest to this. Almost all of my students now have access to either a computer or a cell phone with internet access. I have always been weary about teens posting pictures of themselves on the internet. In this article, they noted that 73% of teens post pictures of themselves for others to see. Usually, these pictures are a little over the topic, I refer to them as the myspace pic (one hand holding the camera while a little over their head while they make a pout and try to look much older). It is even scary to think that 22% also post video which is often less restrictive than the photos.

As a teacher, there are some unique challenges I face when using social networks. First of all, I have a rule to never friend a student, current or former. I realize this may seem a little strict but I have my reasons. I always make sure that regardless of the fact that my students are not my friends that the content on my page is always respectable. I tell my students that I can not friend them because of the fact that I am their teacher and it is not appropriate. I do have other teacher friends that do accept request from students. I am not saying they are wrong but I do think their is a danger when blurring the lines between the teacher student relationship. On the other hand, I have other teacher friends that have created "teacher" pages. I like this idea more, it is a great way to remind students of their hw and project deadlines. This article is pretty good at helping teacher (new and old) navigate the social network scene.

Here is an interesting view on friending students
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